It’s so weird but I don’t know how to explain! I may sound like building a “Blahhh-Blahh” story, but I’m not looking for drama mode in me as well!
4nights in a row that I have been dreaming this 4yrs old boy! The little boy face is crystal clear in my dream like Guy’s little image when he was a toddler.
In my dreams I knew that the boy is Guy and I’s flesh.:)
Today riding the tram. I was standing, though there is 1 vacant seat next to me, but I choose to stand as mostly I do when I’m riding a tram. For the fact that I could burn at least few calories by standing than to seat-down! My 1 hand holding to the pole next to the doorway.
1 more stop before I embark. A woman got up from her seat and standing next to me holding the same pole I was holding on. Then all of the sudden I saw the boy in my dreams standing in the middle between me and that woman. The boy holds the pole almost on top of my hand and smiling so clearly to me. His eyes is so clear to me in those following weird few seconds.:) And I replied him also with my smile!:)
I thought the boy was with that woman. When the woman step off the tram. I look up and asked to myself “Where’s the boy? Where is the woman’s boy?”
Then, I realized the woman was by herself only. And I recalled -that the boy was the character of my dream 4days in a row already.:)
When I got home I told the weirdo scene to Guy my husband right away! And he said it’s probably because I was overwhelmed with kids at church this morning and thinking the kids in my volunteer work a lot too. 🙂
Me: I don’t know really! It’s just kinda weird for me. All in my mind is that’ – That boy is one of my probably loss twin last year?
I don’t know their gender when God opted to take them away from me “For his better plan for me and Guy?” Maybe, No, or maybe Yes? But we are perfectly confirmed together with our Doctor’s, that I was carrying in my womb a Two Heartbeat of Guy and I flesh last year! In short it’s a darn little Twins.:)
I’m not sad now, about what happen! I’m not sad now that I loss my first baby in my womb year of 2011, and my Twins last year. I understand and accepted what God’s better plan for us, because right now Guy and I saw his reason why? And will stay positive and continue to follow what God want us to pursue like what we’re walking now.”__”
What we’re proceeding now? Opps that’s secret for now.:)
Do I miss my Angels? Ohhhh Yes! Of course big darn Yes.
Did I blamed my loss? Yes absolutely before!
But now the wounds been healed and every time I till a story about my Angels now I felt no pain anymore. Because I then finely accepted the fact that God has his best capability to take good care of my 3 Little Peanuts Babies in his Kingdom than here in my arms.:)
Missing you 3 bad my Little Peanuts, and I Love you so dearly.:)
Mommy and Daddy are fine now, don’t worry of us! Just have fun there in God’s paradise. And just keep having fun playing in those pretty garden where butterflies are free flying, playing with you all little Angels.:)
I Love you Little 3 Peanuts,